Womanhood Series 2 – What Happened To Fighting Fair?

Womanhood isn’t about fighting fair, or so it seems. If there’s one thing that really grates on me, it’s when women dislike other women for no apparent reason. And what frustrates me more, is when we couple this dislike with ‘feminine’ passive aggressiveness. I’m not one for fighting – it’s messy and takes too much energy.  But I’d rather you sock me in my eye,  we go a few rounds then be done with it; rather than endure the slow torture of passive aggressive innuendos.

Fight Fair

You can normally tell when a passive aggressive moment is happening with a women who doesn’t like you – it goes a little something like this:

STEP 1. Initiate interaction with a high pitched over-animated greeting, ‘HAAAAAYYYY’!!!

(Women new to the game, proceed to step 3. Seasoned veterans, step 2 is your time to shine)

STEP 2. Go in for a loose hug with a double back-tap finish.

STEP 3. Pay a superficial backhanded compliment – ‘I love your hair, it’s really grown…is it all yours’? (For maximum points, add fake smile)

STEP 4. Allow a moment for the tumble weed to breeze past whilst frantically searching for another backhanded compliment.

Fight Fair

Fight Fair

Fight Fair

Maybe we’ve watched too many episodes of Real Housewives, but women seem to think we exist to find as many nasty ways to discredit and hurt each other. What happened to fighting fair?

One of our subtle specialities is the classic comment…‘look at her, she thinks she’s nice.’  If you’ve ever said this about another woman – I beg you, check yourself!  Have a few moments of quiet introspection and ask yourself this; has the woman EVER categorically said that she thinks she’s nice? If NOT then proceed to the next question. Could it be an inability to deal with your own inadequacies that has lead you to make this waste of energy comment about another woman? (Just a little food for thought for us ladies who suffer with bouts of ‘she thinks she’s nice-illitis’)

Come on ladies – what happened to fighting fair?

Fight Fair


Fight Fair

As women our experiences can be immensely different and our characters varied. However, amid all our diversity there is one seed of truth we should actively cultivate – our great need to DO BETTER!

The legacy of womanhood we leave our daughters must be greater than the one we’ve inherited. So, if you have a genuine issue (and stress GENUINE) with another woman don’t start slandering her to anyone that will give you their ear. Its 2018, change the script and start fighting fair. Put on your big mama panties and approach the woman, engage in mature dialogue and be intentional about trying to move forward in a mutually beneficial way. This doesn’t mean you’re going to become BFF’s, but at least you can agree to not desrespect each other.

There isn’t any need for me to labour the point; grown women should do, what grown women do. Quit with the little girl antics, have respect for womanhood and DO BETTER, FIGHT FAIR!

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  1. You went in on this one Shauna. This is health feed for my soul, but wonderful empowerment initiative as well. Not just for women we men can learn from this blog post too.

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