Womanhood, Part 2 – Headscarf and Yard Clothes


Womanhood for many millennial females has become synonymous with the seven day slay. We’re bosses and as such we’ve created a narrative that tells the world real women wake up set to slay ALL the time. Make-up must slay, hair must slay, career must slay; and whilst I’m all up for a bit of slayage, the idea that you have to be 10 outta 10 all the time is a utter madness.

Womanhood is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. For the sake of sanity we need to stop buying into the idea we must achieve x, y and z by the age of… in order to be seen as a real woman.  Being a woman is tuff (not saying that being a man isn’t) and in order to survive the minefield that is womanhood we need to set some clear rules that allow us to slay yet still maintain peace of mind.



So how do we go about this?

A starting point is to figure out what kind of mark you’d like to leave on womankind. My personal mark has nothing to do with being seen as a slay queen and isn’t built on people leaving comments on my insta pics like guuurrrlll followed by fire emoji’s. As much as I like and appreciate these compliments, they need to be contextualised as they represent commentary on a snapshot of time, not my entire reality. This leads me to rule number one:

1. Contextualise your slay:

It isn’t necessary to slay everywhere all the time. Maintaining meaningful relationships are one of life’s most beautiful rewards. However in order to do so we need moments of vulnerability; I don’t know about you but trying to be vulnerable whilst slaying is really hard.  The people who love us are our greatest cheerleaders, however we can sometimes dismiss spending quality time with them because we’re too caught up in being/becoming a female boss. Don’t lose out on what really matters in life, contextualise your slay and intentionally build lifestyle habits that help you achieve balance.

Rule number one and two go hand in hand:

2. Recharge your slaydar:

In the race that is womanhood, we need to pace ourselves and remember its not a case of running harder, but running smarter. Some days put down your slaydar, put on your headscarf, yard clothes and hold a vibes. Achieving balance is all part of the slay, remember that!




And finally, rule number three:

3. Learn to slay your way

Don’t get too caught up with those female entrepreneurs who have achieved success by glamourising busyness.

Write your own slay story and make it a good one. Ensure that when your daughter reads it, it’ll teach her the real importance of what it means to be a woman. Make sure it guides her into making wise decisions; decisions that will help her strike the balance between slaying and keeping her sanity.

She’s strong but she’s exhausted – R.H. Sin


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