Chivalry is officially dead, please can we have a moment of silence. Investigations are not yet conclusive, but I heard from a post-modernist, who heard from a womanist, that a feminist struck the fatal blow. I can see the headlines – Feminism Slaughters Chivalry in a Brutal Battle for Women’s Rights !
However, I know you guys are too in touch with reality to believe the hype. I’m also hoping that you’re all a fan of sarcasm, have a dry sense of humour, and a balanced outlook on life, so will receive this post in the spirit it is intended.Until recently I had no issue with a man opening a door or helping to carry my bags up a few stairs. That said, I do take issue with you men folk who appear out of nowhere whenever a woman’s parallel parking and start guiding her in like she’s landing a Boeing 747 (you guys need to quit it, please and thank you!)
I started questioning my attitude towards chivalry after reading a few articles that alluded to woman who accepted acts of chivalry as snakes and not ‘woke’ to the patriarchal agenda. I really had to undergo some deep moments of introspection. How could I be so careless? How could I drop my WOKE-DAR and betray the sisterhood for a random Trevor who held the door open for me? Darn you and your chivalry Trevor!Listen, I’m totally aware of how men can use chivalry as a tool to patronize and control women. But please can we also spare a thought for the men who have been raised to give up there seat on the bus for a woman or the elderly. I think these men are occupying a space where I currently find myself after reading the articles. It’s a space between wanting to express/accept what seems like an act of good manners, but at the same time not knowing if you’ll offend. So, to the guy who asked if a woman would take offence to him helping her change a tyre, I’m sorry! I figured it would be fine for you to offer support but now I guess I was wrong. And to any future Trevor’s, I apologize in advanced for the awkwardness of asking you not to hold the door open for me, allowing it to close and then reopening it myself.
Of course I’m being totally facetious but I was so confused by what some of these articles were advocating.I think its a shame that we’ve reached a point in history where THE STRUGGLE becomes less about rights and equality and more about losing our basic expression of humanity (ohhh the irony). I shouldn’t have to question an act of ‘chivalry’, but I’m not that naïve. There is no doubt that some men are masters at using chivalry to belittle and disempower women. However, do I also have to question whether accepting an act of chivalry will have me ‘ex-communicated’ from the sisterhood and branded a Judas?
I don’t believe that wanting to advance the rights of women should mean precluding myself from acts of support/kindness from the opposite sex. In my view the term chivalry relates to ‘certain acts’ performed by men; however not all men who open doors for women or give up their seat on the bus are trying to act chivalrously. Neither are they trying to disempower or fraught the progress of women. Their actions may just be an expression of CIVILITY . I’m not here for everyone to agree with my opinions, but I think its far beyond me to refuse help from a man when I need it and it’s being offered out of common courtesy and basic humanity. So actually, hold that door open Trevor and yes you can help carry my bags; but I draw the line at you trying to guide me into a parking spot 😜